Axel: A Romantic Suspense Novel Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Epilogue

  Axel

  by

  Bry Ann

  Axel

  Copyright © 2017 byBry Ann

  This book is a work of fiction, the characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  ISBN - 978-0-9995318-0-8

  Dedication:

  To everyone who has been affected by suicide.

  To everyone who has been misunderstood.

  To everyone who has suffered with anger, and not understood how to control it.

  To everyone who has been hurt by someone who was supposed to love them.

  You are not alone.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One……………………………………………………………...1

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Epilogue

  Chapter one

  Axel

  I woke up that morning with a brutal headache. I reached across my pillow for my phone so I could ask Sarah what the hell I did last night. A newspaper fell to the floor as my arm brushed across the edge of my dresser. By the time I had my phone in my hand, I already knew there would be no one to text. Sarah had been gone for days… months… years. When would I stop reaching out to her? On my deathbed, I suspected. My phone buzzed in my hand, and I glanced down at it.

  Mac: Did you read the paper?

  I didn’t bother answering him. Instead, I immediately reached over to thumb through the paper I’d just knocked to the floor.

  “FUCK THIS SHIT!” I yelled as I threw my phone across the room. I stood up and paced the floor, running my hands through my hair in frustration. I turned the second I heard my mom’s footsteps approaching. She stood fidgeting in the doorway.

  “Axel, Hun, is everything okay?”

  Mom was a tiny little thing –five feet, two inches– with brown curly hair chopped just above her ears. She never understood me and it only got worse when I got out of juvie. Our relationship changed from being one of general indifference to her treating me, her dark-haired, seventeen-year-old son, like a man on the verge of committing murder.

  “I’m fine,” I snapped.

  “Well, is there anything I can help you with? Your father should be home soon if you want to talk or anything.”

  I bit my lip. My father was the only person who could put me in my place. He was like six foot five, well over two hundred pounds, and very stern. He was a businessman, and I respected the hell out of him. That respect was what always got me to back off when he asked it of me, at least most of the time.

  Like when I was fourteen, my mom insisted I go and see a psychiatrist to try and work out why I was so angry all the time. She suspected that I had some sort of chemical imbalance because my life was great at this point, completely normal. I had no valid reason to be so on edge. She thought that maybe there was a medication that could help me. I hated the idea of therapy with a passion. I hated the idea of being medicated even more. When I found out they booked an appointment without telling me, I flipped my shit. I stormed up to my room, cursing my way up the stairs. I made as much noise as I possibly could. I went to my room with the intent of destroying everything in sight.

  Dad immediately followed me up and came into my room, slamming the door behind him. He wanted to discuss why I was so pissed about the idea of therapy and blocked the door with his body so I couldn’t leave and avoid the conversation. I fought him with everything I had, but my dad stayed in there until I sat on the bed and talked it out with him. He knew there was not much I could do because I wouldn’t actually hurt him, even if I wanted to. We made a compromise that night. I agreed to go to therapy on the condition that they didn’t force me to medicate. I saw what medication did to people; it made them zombies. I could learn to control my anger, but I refused to live my life under the influence of a chemical drug.

  During my therapy session, I got diagnosed with the intermittent explosive disorder. That seemed to ease my parents a bit, but it didn’t help me. I had a name for my anger yet I still didn’t understand it. It was this incident, along with the encouragement of Sarah and my parents, that led me to take on boxing as more than a hobby.

  “I don’t need him,” I snapped at back at my mom. “What I need is for it to be June and me to be the fuck out of here.”

  “Axel, it doesn’t have to be all bad.”

  I looked at her. Unfortunately, we both knew that wasn’t true. I watched as my mom bit her lip, shifted, and looked down at the floor as she tried to find something to say. We both knew what I was thinking, though. Everything about this town reminded me of her. Town square reminded me of all the times we used to go down and eat ice cream cones at the corner while I made fun of people and Sarah defended them. Then there were the townspeople constantly apologizing to me for “my loss,” as if I wanted to be constantly reminded of the beautiful auburn-haired girl that was everything to me. I couldn’t think of a single place that didn’t remind me of her smile, her laugh… and her death.

  I got out of juvie six months ago and was on probation for six months with mandated therapy and anger management courses. Those stipulations were the only reason my sentence was so short. I also turned eighteen and graduated high school in six months. Luckily, I did high school online, so I didn’t need to deal with all the unnecessary school drama on top of everything else. Not to mention all the rumours that were spread about me and the reputation I now had. Six more months until I was out and I could start being with people who understood me. People I could become invisible around. People who I wouldn’t let hurt me like he did.

  She did.

  I was my mom’s only child. I wish I could have been better for her, more of what she deserved. She was a great mom, but that wasn’t me. I never would be, and any chance of self-improvement happening was shot to hell when the girl I was in fucking love with slit her wrists because of him. The one person I hated with every fiber of my being. The reason I went to juvie.

  Ryan Oakland was a normal enough looking guy. Six-one, blonde hair, brown eyes, blah fucking blah. Behind all that typical-American-boy shit was a devil. Sarah and I were best friends since grade school and started dating the day I turned fourteen. She was the love of my life. I don’t give a shit if people said I was too young to feel that way. Sarah was an angel, my angel…until everything changed. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

  “Sarah?” I called out as I headed to the alley by the high school where we met up sometimes to talk. “Sarah?”

  I heard voices the closer I got but couldn’t make out the words. I t
ried calling for Sarah again, but when I listened for a response, all I heard was a moan and the sound of footsteps. I quickened my pace.

  “Sarah?” I yelled. “I hear you. Are you okay?”

  I rounded the corner and saw my girl sitting huddled on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chest. Tears ran down her face. Her shoulders were shaking, and she was hugging her midsection. Her skirt was off center, and her top was all over the place. Standing over her was Ryan Oakland, buckling his pants. I stared back and forth between the two of them, trying to make sense of what was happening. When I looked back at Sarah, I saw the fear in her eyes, and instantly, I knew.

  I stormed over to Ryan and shoved him so hard against the wall that he nearly fell over. He looked at me with a mixture of fear and cockiness.

  “What are you doing here, Axel? He snapped at me, keeping the smug expression on his face intact

  “What am I doing here?” I roared. “You…you…” I ran a hand through my hair and tried to take deep breaths. “You raped her. You raped my best friend.”

  I heard Sarah moan from behind me. Rageas I had never known consumed me, and I punched Ryan so hard in the face that he lost his footing, yet he still managed to throw me a bloody grin; I lost it. There was a metal stick of some sort behind me, and I threw it across the pathway, and it hit Ryan across the abdomen. After that, I stormed over to Ryan, and I beat the living shit out of him. I was out of control. I wanted to kill him, and I almost did. It wasn’t until he was a bleeding mess on the ground that a voice told me to stop. I immediately dropped my fists.

  “Sarah?” I whispered as I turned around. I threw one last look at Ryan and didn’t even wince at the damage I’d done.

  Sarah kept crying and pulling herself in tighter. She tried to hide behind the dumpster further.

  “Sarah, it’s me. It’s Axel.” I took a step closer to her. Within a second, I was crouched in front of her. The side of her face and arms were bleeding, as if she had fallen over. “Sarah, please. I’m worried,” I said shakily as I sat crouched in front of her. I was careful not to touch her. If she really had been raped, I wanted to be sure to give her the space she needed.

  “Axel, can you just hold me? Don’t ask questions. Just hold me.”

  I didn’t hesitate. It took me less than ten seconds to sit next to her and pull her into my side for comfort. I noticed how she flinched when I touched her, but I ignored it and pulled her in even tighter. The minute her head was on my shoulder, she broke out in uncontrollable sobs. My heart was a rock in in my chest. I glanced down at her cuts and torn clothing, and something icy gripped my heart.

  Sarah.

  There was a long silence before either of us spoke again, the intensity of what I’d just done and what Sarah had just endured lingered in the air.

  “I’m going to lose you, Axel, and I need you here. I need you, Axel.”

  “You won’t lose me, Sarah. I don’t know what’s going to happen from here,” I said, looking over at Ryan, “but I promise I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always make sure you are okay no matter where I am.”

  She looked down at her banged up knees. “Axel, you lost it. Ryan’s hurt.”

  I felt her shaking next to me, and I realized the only thing I regretted about beating the shit out of Ryan Oakland was that Sarah had to witness me committing that kind of violence.

  “Tell me what happened, Sarah. I need to know.”

  She looked at me, pained. I’ll never forget the expression on her face or the words that came out of her mouth next. Sarah looked down at the pavement.

  “Ryan…Ryan Oakland raped me. I was caught off guard. I was waiting here for you. When I heard the footsteps, I thought it was you rounding the corner. By the time he got here, I had nowhere to run.” Her bottom lip shook and then fell into my lap as if her body literally couldn’t even handle the words.

  I saw red. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to shove Sarah aside and head for Ryan again. My body was stiff as a board. I started to take deep breaths the way Sarah always taught me. It didn’t take Sarah long to know I was struggling. She immediately pulled her head up and crawled into my lap. She gently stroked the sides of my arms and my face.

  “Axel, I need you here. Please come back to me. Please,” she repeated several times softly.

  “Okay, I’m back, Sarah.” I shook myself out of it. “I need to be sure you are okay.”

  I began lifting her arms and crouched down to look at her legs and any other part of her body that could have been injured. I frantically moved around her body until I heard a soft laugh and felt her grab my face.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You are, Axel.”

  “Why?” I frowned.

  She laughed again. It was sadder than usual, and weak, but genuine and still my favorite sound.

  “Because you are this big tough guy with dark hair, sexy eyes, and a banging body, but you are so gentle with me. You care so much.” She gave me a weak smile when she finished.

  “Of course, I love you. You’re Sarah,” I said with furrowed eyebrows. I was confused by what she said. “But I love the compliment. Thanks, babe.”

  I wanted to make a joke about the banging body comment, but I knew it wasn’t the time. I paused and then spoke carefully. “We have to tell the police, Sarah. You have to go to the hospital.”

  “No!” Sarah’s voice softened and she physically pulled back from me.“ I just want to go home.”

  “Sarah, please,” I begged, but it was pointless. Sarah was gone, not thinking straight and scared shitless. She was still shaking.

  “Sarah,” I sighed and bit my lip. “You’re bleeding.”

  She started feeling around her cuts, looking for the source of the blood. I could tell she couldn’t feel her body. She had somehow detached to cope with what just happened. She didn’t even know where she was hurt. She was using her eyes. She was in some form of shock, and her body had taken over to protect her.

  “No, Sarah.” I looked down at my hands. “Not there.”

  Her eyes instantly went down to the spot in between her thighs, and she fell over. I caught her before her head hit the ground. In the back of my mind, I remember wishing she had passed out so I could take her to the hospital without upsetting her.

  “Sarah!” I hurriedly picked her up to see her eyes. They were broken, distant.

  “I want to go home, Axel. Now.”

  Her voice sounded like a child’s. “Okay. I will take you home, but only if you promise to go the hospital once we talk to your parents.”

  “Axel…”

  “Sarah, I’m sorry. If you don’t agree I am taking you right now.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “I love you, so I would.” I grabbed her hands. “I’m just trying to droughty you. I don’t know how to help or what I’m doing.”

  “Axel, you have to get Ryan to a hospital. We don’t know what’s wrong with him. I hate him too, but I mean… You are going to get in serious trouble for this. You can’t just leave him here.”

  “What about you? I have to get you to the hospital. You are my priority.”

  “I’ll call my parents and they’ll pick me up. I can walk; he can’t.”

  “No. I’ll take you home. It’s not too far. I’m going to make sure you get home safe. Once we are there, you can talk to your parents and decide who you want to take you to the hospital. Okay? When you are with your parents, I will come back for Ryan. I’ll call the police and take responsibility for this. I promise.”

  I didn’t bother waiting for her reply. I gently scooped her up in my arms. She tucked her head into my chest and pulled herself close to me. I could feel her shaking in my arms.

  “I love you so much. You know that, right? “she whispered to me when we got close to her house.

  “Of course.” I kissed her head.” And you know I love you, right?”

  Her voice was thick with emotion. I closed my eyes, remembering the tears on her face
when I’d found her just a few minutes earlier.

  “You okay?” I whispered.

  “I know you love me,” she whispered, ignoring my question.” You’re the best boy I’ve ever known. You got this, you know? You’re going to be great one day.”

  I laughed, but it was more like a scoff. “Yeah, thanks. You sure you’re okay?”

  I felt her nod.

  When we reached her front door, I gently set her down and held her forearm to make sure she was steady on her feet. She jerked her arm away and gave me a small smile.

  “I got it.”

  “Okay.” I reached for the doorbell. She quickly grabbed my wrist.

  “I’ll tell them, but I want to tell them alone, Axel. This is private. They deserve that. Don’t you think?”

  I frowned. “I mean, you guys don’t even get along that well. Just let me make sure you get inside okay?” I reached for the doorbell again, but once again, she slapped my hand down.

  “Axel! I said I want to do this alone. You have a situation to take care of. You can’t just leave him there. I just saw you beat the crap out of somebody. I am safe at my house. Let me talk to my parents.”

  “You need to get to a hospital,” I said and winced as I looked down at her scraped up body again.

  “They’ll take me.” She squeezed my arm to try and reassure me.

  “Okay, if that’s truly what you want. Text me if you need me. Tell me when you get to the hospital. I’ll meet you there or send my dad to make sure your parents are nice if, you know, I’m otherwise occupied.”

  Otherwise occupied as in I’m arrested for assault by that point.

  I turned to leave and watched Sarah reach for the doorbell. When she was safely on her porch, reaching for the doorknob, I ran. I ran as hard as I could to where I left Ryan. When I got to the alley, he was still unconscious. Shit.

  The worst part was I didn’t even feel bad. In fact, I felt better. All I felt bad about was losing it. I was going to get caught. It would hurt my parents, and I had for sure I had let Sarah down. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket with shaking hands and went to dial 9-1-1. I clicked the nine first, then one, and then fell to the ground and cried my eyes out like a little girl. I had no control. I cried and cried until I couldn’t anymore.