The Complete Box Set: Saving Her Page 17

  During the appointment, he ran through last-minute birthing stuff, did our typical check up on the baby and then sat me down to ask how I was doing. We spoke for a few minutes on the topic of my sanity, and then he got serious.

  “Sam, have you told the father yet?”

  “Uh no. We haven’t talked.”

  He looked down.

  “Whose name are you going to put on her birth certificate?”

  Shit, I hadn’t thought of that!

  “Uh, um… I … I don’t….”

  “It won’t alert him or anything. It’s just for legal reasons.”

  “This will stay with us, right?”

  “Of course.”

  I chewed my lower lip.

  “Logan Prescott,” I whispered sort of loudly. It became so real in that moment. The reality of what I was doing, or rather wasn’t doing. I chewed my lower lip so hard I drew blood and had to swallow it before Dr. Marks saw.

  “Are you sure?” the doctor asked quietly.

  “Unfortunately, 100%.”

  “I see.”

  …And that’s all we said on the topic. Three weeks later, almost exactly to the day, I was in a hospital room going through the worst physical pain of my life with no one but a slightly trashy roommate who liked to pretend she didn’t have a heart of gold.

  Chapter 15:

  No amount of words or preparation could have prepared me for how painful it was to give birth. The doctor said my birth went extremely smoothly, one of the smoothest he had ever seen. I wasn’t surprised. Little Jazmine proved to be the easiest baby to give life to. My pregnancy wasn’t all that bad, and the birth went as well as could have been expected.

  Several hours after I’d entered the hospital a small, squealing baby was placed in my arms. Although I had changed quite a bit since I found out I was pregnant, at that moment I knew I had changed irrevocably. I never thought it possible to love on the level I already loved the little slimeball in my arms. I thought I wasn’t capable of loving anyone outside of my mother. I thought that my whole life, but one baby, who couldn’t even talk yet, proved to me how wrong I was. I was so sad when they took her away. I just wanted her in my arms all the time.

  Raising baby Jazmine gave me a new respect for mothers everywhere. Despite Jazmine being a good baby, I was constantly tired, hungry and grumpy. Alexa was always there bringing me food and supplies and watching Jazmine so that I could try and sleep. She almost replaced the second parent.

  It wasn’t until Jazmine was about a year and a half old I was truly able to start seeing her looks and who she took after. She was so beautiful. She had my hazel eyes, Logan’s shaggy blonde hair, perfect baby skin and a smile that lite up her entire face. I learned how unforgiving fate could be because Jazmine looked just like Logan other than her eyes. She had my eyes. She was like a little female Logan. Every day I looked at her I thought of him. I avoided all press from Logan Prescott, which was a lot because, if it was even possible, he became even more famous. It wasn’t until Jazmine’s fifth birthday that Logan once again entered my orbit.

  Alexa, Jazmine, me and a few friends from work were having a small get together at the park for Jazmine’s fifth birthday. One of the mom’s set a magazine down on the picnic table. Out of boredom I instinctively grabbed it, and my stomach fell when I saw the headline.

  “Logan Prescott looks Exhausted After Sister is seen with Known Drug Dealer.”

  What? Dana? I knew who it was instantly. Gunner. I should have known back then. The way she was always so shy but brave around him. His reaction to her. How she thought this certain person could snap me out of my shock in the days after my mom died….

  Well Dana, I fucking snapped out of it!

  “Jazmine!” I shouted as my heart pounded faster in my chest. “Jazmine!”

  “Yes mommy,” she squealed as her stick-straight blonde hair bounced around when she ran towards me.

  “We are going on a plane sweetheart. Right now.”

  “A plane?” She asked with wide eyes. She’d never left Cheyenne.

  “Yes,’ I answered quickly. I told everyone I had an emergency and whispered an apology to Alexa. She looked confused at first but immediately got up to close out the party for me.

  I jumped in my car, snapped Jazmine in and rushed to the airport. Jazmine didn’t stop talking the whole car ride, the whole flight and it wasn’t until we got in our rental car in Nashville that she passed out. I couldn’t have been more relieved. Being in Nashville was weird, but my adrenaline was so high I didn’t even have time to think about the oddness.

  I headed straight for Logan’s manager’s building. Luckily, according to the paper, Logan was in town, probably because of Dana, who I was going to kill. I knew Logan would have the same manager despite five and a half years having passed because he was a loyal guy. He wouldn’t let someone go unless he had to.

  “Where are we, mommy?” Jazmine asked groggily when we pulled up the building.

  “We are seeing friends of mommies.” I was still not freaking thinking, or I wouldn’t have sought Logan out with Jazmine.

  My blood was in my ears, and I wasn’t seeing or thinking clearly. The thought that sweet Dana was seen with Gunner and it was my fault made me feel guilt like I’d never known. I didn’t care if they all hated me, I’d fix this. It was amazing how after nearly six years I still cared so much.

  I picked Jazmine up, which was getting very hard to do, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I took the elevator up to the correct floor and walked up to the reception desk. I set Jazmine down behind me. I no longer felt uncomfortable here in this fancy office. I’d grown up, matured, and gained confidence.

  “Hi,” I said to the new receptionist. She seemed nicer than the one I remembered. “I need to speak to Logan Prescott now.”

  “I’m sorry ma’am. Logan is a busy man. I can’t let fans in at this time. I hope you understand,” she said it with such sincerity I was impressed. Jazmine held onto my leg for dear life. Occasionally she would pop her head out to look around. I stroked her soft, shiny hair to try and comfort her.

  “It’s okay baby,” I whispered to Jazmine. “Tell Logan it is Sam Perkins….”

  “Ma’am I….”

  “Just tell him!” I snapped. “If I still can’t see him. I’ll leave no questions asked.”

  I spoke confidently, but I was so scared he had forgotten me or would not want to see me. I didn’t know what I’d do if he did that. I think I’d seek out Dana and have to confront her directly then. The problem with that was I had no idea where she lived now so that would mean more money spent on hotels and trying to find her.

  The receptionist walked to the back with her heels clicking behind her. She returned several minutes later looking at me strangely. Jazmine was growing impatient behind me.

  “Follow me,” she said.

  I tugged Jazmine along and she stayed hooked on my leg as I held her head in a comforting gesture. I wish someone was holding my head and comforting me. My stomach was flipping wildly but I was on a mission. I couldn’t let something happen to Dana because I was an idiot teenager. Despite the time that had passed I still viewed Dana as a sister, regardless of the fact she didn’t feel the same about me anymore after everything I’d done.

  “In here.” The receptionist held open a large mahogany door.

  I took a deep breath and tried to swallow the bile rising in my throat. Jazmine saw and squeezed my leg lovingly. I smiled and gave her a quick hug. Then I opened the door.

  Logan was seated at his desk eyeing me coldly. He had grown up. He had stubble on his face, which aged him… in a good way. He looked tired and had put on a lot of muscle. He was thicker, and no longer looked like a young rock star. He looked like a grown man. Lust immediately shot through my body which pissed me off. Damn hormones and damn the fact that I was in the longest dry spell of my life. Not to mention Logan was the only person I had ever truly cared about romantically. Demonstrated by the little blonde ho
lding onto my leg.

  “Sam.” He jerked his head in my direction.

  “Logan,” I said as strong as I could muster, but it came out sounding more like a squeak. I took a few steps in the room, and Jazmine remained attached to my leg hidden from view.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Um, I… well…” my voice wouldn’t work.

  My new life and my old life were crashing together. I didn’t realize how much until I felt Jazmine shift out from underneath my leg.

  “You are on TV,” I heard a small voice say.

  I realized Jazmine had peaked her head out from my legs and was staring at Logan with wide eyes, still gripping my pants tightly.

  Logan’s gaze quickly shifted from me to Jazmine. He looked stunned. It was clear he didn’t know there was another person in the room, let alone a child. They stared at each other for a moment, and I knew Jazmine was intrigued. She took one step away from leg but still gripped pants with her left hand.

  “Who is she?” Logan said sounding distant like he was in another universe. He was still staring at Jazmine like she was a ghost.

  “Um...a kid I babysit,” I said quickly out of fear. I winced immediately. How was I slipping back into old habits that quickly? Before Logan could even respond Jazmine put her free hand on her hip and threw her gaze up at me.

  “Mommy!”

  “Mommy?” Logan’s jaw fell to his chest.

  I felt Jazmine let go of my leg, and with all the power I had I wished she’d come back to me, but she didn’t. She took a few steps toward Logan.

  “What’s your name?” she asked him quietly.

  “I’m Logan.” He crouched down in front of her and extended his hand. Slowly she stepped forward and took it.

  “Mr. Prescott,” I jumped in. “That’s Mr. Prescott.”

  Jazmine gave a small smile.

  “LP,” she said grinning. “Can I call you LP?”

  “LP?” both Logan and I asked.

  “Logan Prescott. LP. It sounds cool, and you seem really cool, and you are on TV so LP.”’

  He laughed, and I groaned.

  “Yeah, you can call me LP. That’s fine.” He lightened up a bit.

  “I’m Jazmine! Jazmine Dana Perkins.”

  “What?” Logan’s gaze flew up to me.

  I cowered. He looked at her again and then at me and then at the floor.

  “How old...” He began to ask but decided against it. He looked down at her and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Jazmine, can your mommy and I talk for a minute alone?”

  She looked to me for approval, but I couldn’t even look at her. I just looked at the floor and tried not to vomit. This was worse than the day I found out I was pregnant. Somehow, more reckless as well.

  “There’s a nice lady outside. She will watch you right out there,” Logan said to Jazmine. His voice was gentle with her. I glanced up at the two of them, not completely comfortable leaving Jazmine alone with a stranger. Just like he did five years ago, Logan seemed to be able to read my thoughts. He turned to me, and his voice became cold again. “She’s a friend of Dana’s. She’s very nice. She’ll watch Jazmine.”

  I hesitated but nodded knowing I had no choice in the matter unless I wanted to have this talk with Jazmine in the room, which I did not!

  “Jazzy,” I said when she walked over to me. I grabbed her hands. “Go out there with that nice lady and behave, okay? Remember the rules.”

  “Are you okay mommy?”

  I plastered a fake smile on my face.

  “Of course. Now get out there.” I squeezed her nose.

  Logan buzzed the receptionist over, and in a heartbeat, Jazmine followed her out the door. Both Jazmine and Logan stared at each other until Jazmine was out of the room. Then his gaze shifted over to me. I was still staring at the door, nervous about leaving Jazmine with a stranger and terrified of being alone with Logan.

  “How old is she?” Logan broke up my train of thought. His tone was stern and cold as ice.

  “I… that’s not why I’m here.”

  “That’s not why you are here!” he roared. “Well,” he scoffed. “It’s the reason you are here fucking right now Sam. I’ll ask you just once. How. Old. Is. She?”

  I took a step back. Logan was different, much more demanding and in control than I remembered him. I mean he was always the boss, but he was the boss now. It was unnerving.

  “She’s … She’s five,” I somehow got out.

  I could see the calculations being made in his eyes. Then the realization hit his face. He stood there in stunned silence for a minute before abruptly slamming the binder in his hand on the desk. It sent off such a large bang that I jumped back and almost fell over in the process. I heard Jazmine call my name worriedly from down the hall, but Logan’s receptionist must have reassured her. I was finally able to focus on Logan’s red, furious, hurt, stunned face. So many emotions played in his eyes, but I knew the overall feeling was hurt and guilt for not being there for what was potentially his daughter.

  “SAM!” he had yelled when the binder went down. “HOW?! How the actual fuck could you do this? I….I… You have me stunned into freaking silence at your heartlessness yet again.”

  I winced and went to open my mouth, but I had nothing good to say, so I stayed quiet.

  “I wanna see the birth certificate.”

  “I… I don’t have it,” I stuttered.

  He ran his hand over his face and spun around in anger, trying to control himself. Then he turned to face me again.

  “Well, who do you know back in whatever state you are in these days that could send it over. Tell him I will Paypal him $500 to go to the fucking post office and overnight it here.”

  I wanted to tell him ‘no,’ but Logan could have asked me for my social security number and every dime I had, and I would have done it. Guilt, especially when you are certain you are wrong, is a powerful thing.

  “I will call Alexa,” I muttered pulling out my cell phone. “She won’t need you to pay her. She’ll do it.”

  “Then get to it.” He waved his hand at me like he wanted nothing more to do with me.

  I set my bag down and with shaky hands started fumbling through it. Eventually, I found my cell phone and dialed Alexa’s number.

  “What the hell Sam? Are you okay? Why did you just disappear?” Normally I would have given her shit for being worried about me, but not today.

  “Alexa, I need a big favor.”

  “Sam? Are you okay?” her tone changed completely.

  She sounded extremely worried. I tried to keep my voice in check, but it proved to be impossible. I took a quick glance over at Logan who was staring at the window. He was lost in his thoughts.

  “I need you to overnight Jazmine’s birth certificate to Nashville, like right now. I will make it up to you.”

  “Wait? What? You are in Nashville. Sam, what’s going on? Normally I’d hate my fucking self for this, but you have me worried, especially because that little tike is with you. Where are you? Are you in trouble?”

  “Alexa!” I snapped. “I’m with Jazmine’s father.”

  The phone went silent for a long time. Alexa and I never discussed Jazmine’s father. Not once. She tried to ask me about it once, but I shut it down. She, being the person she was, understood and never asked me again.

  “What?” she finally asked sounding completely taken aback. That was a feeling that was going around a lot that day.

  I stayed quiet.

  “Sam, who is the father?”

  I put my head in my hands. I knew she’d see it in five seconds when she pulled out the birth certificate anyway.

  “Logan Prescott.” My words are muffled and laced with anxiety.

  “WHAT?” she bellowed over the phone. “BLOODY FUCKING HELL SAM! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! He... are you? The room is fucking spinning Samantha!”

  “I know Alexa. I’m sorry, but I can’t talk now. I need you to do this for me. Please.”

/>   “Of course I will. You know I will, but you owe me a fucking story time.”

  “I know.”

  I told her in detail where I hid the birth certificate and the address of Logan’s manager’s office. She said she’d send it over immediately. I thanked her, and we hung up. Logan sat down in his large black chair, seemingly winded.

  “So, I am the father? It seems it was a shock to her as well. Why am I not surprised?”

  “This wouldn’t be better for you if she knew. You know that.”

  “You haven’t changed.”

  “You have.”

  “You didn’t answer my first question.”

  “You know the answer Logan.”

  “I want to hear you say it. Look at me and tell me the truth. Tell it to my face.”

  I took a deep, shaky breath and looked him directly in the eyes.

  “Logan, you ….” I paused and collected myself again, “are Jazmine’s father.”

  I suddenly became dizzy and felt myself sliding backward. Before I hit the ground, Logan had a hand on my back and a chair underneath me. Just as quickly as he got there, he abruptly walked away and sat across from me again.

  “Thanks,” I muttered rubbing my dizzy head.

  He ignored me, seemingly pained that he felt the need not to let me hit the floor. Ouch. That hurt my heart.

  “Why would you keep this from me, Sam? I mean when you left I got it. I did. Dana didn’t, but she accepted it, accepted you, but we were worried. We weren’t even sure you were alive, and you never even gave us a courtesy call to say ‘hey, I’m alive and I don’t want to talk to you guys anymore. Thanks for letting me in your fucking lives’. You broke Dana’s heart,” and without saying the words I knew… I’d broke his.

  “Dana…” I muttered. Everything came rushing back to me. “Dana!” I stood up. “That’s why I am here,” he looked at me like I’d gone crazy. “She… she’s with a drug dealer isn’t she?” I grabbed the newspaper out of my bag and set it on the desk. “I came to help.”

  Logan opened his mouth to speak before Jazmine came barreling through the door.